Best Divorce Letter Ever! |
07-06-2009, 11:50 AM
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#1
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Connected
Victoria is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: England
Posts: 13,814
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Best Divorce Letter Ever!
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
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Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
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07-06-2009, 02:52 PM
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#2
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AH FAN
crackpatch is offline
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Some things are beyond imagination...
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07-06-2009, 03:17 PM
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#3
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AH FAN
TranceClubber is offline
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haha 
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07-06-2009, 03:24 PM
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#4
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AH.FM Addict
Altered-Mind is offline
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Vuvuzela -- It's not just a noisemaker, its a musical instrument
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07-06-2009, 03:43 PM
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#5
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AH.FM Addict
Jiffy Pop is offline
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07-06-2009, 09:59 PM
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#6
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AH.FM Addict
Tarek is offline
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Location: Canada
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Oh damn that PS really really sucks..
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07-06-2009, 11:25 PM
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#7
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AH.FM Addict
D_NeU is offline
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ha haaa 
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Madness is like Gravity... all you need is a lil P.u.s.h !!!
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08-06-2009, 12:29 AM
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#8
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AH.FM Addict
Junior is offline
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OWNED!!!
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Viet - Sky (Riialto Remix) enough said!
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12-06-2009, 05:30 PM
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#9
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AH Listener
DJ Senzor is offline
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Location: Romania
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OMG! Divorce FAIL!
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In pursuit of the perfect mix
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12-06-2009, 05:42 PM
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#10
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AH.FM Addict
labielecki is online now
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Hahahaha, really funny thing! 
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If you do not love me, leave me for someone else.
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13-06-2009, 04:29 AM
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#11
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I am Male
SUNNY TOMORROW is offline
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When are they making the movie???
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Tennis Divas Jelena Jankovic Maria Sharapova Daniela Hantuchova Elena Dementieva
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13-06-2009, 11:57 AM
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#12
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PURE EVIL
scarlett is offline
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13-06-2009, 01:10 PM
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#13
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AH.FM Addict
Miss Glam is offline
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bring on the mad beatz
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13-06-2009, 02:25 PM
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#14
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AH FAN
mysteria is offline
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Flight 643>>>Destination>>>AH.FM
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04-07-2009, 08:31 PM
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#15
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AH FAN
dead_devil_66 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Altered-Mind
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its a shemale 
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